Secret Cupid

Don’t you love it when your kids come up with great ideas? An almost daily question in my home is, “can we have ice cream tonight?” or “can we play video games?” For any parent reading this, I am confident you are peppered with questions that you might want to say “yes” to, but you frequently find yourself saying “no.” So we have to love the questions that we can enthusiastically say “yes!” to.

This is where I found myself when my 6 year old asked, “can we be Secret Cupids?” He went on to explain his idea that every family member would draw a name and then do thoughtful and kind things for a Secret Valentine. I loved this idea! It was just the right activity our family needed for February, and I imagine a lot of other families can relate.

It’s snowing here in New Jersey as I write this post. We are also almost a year into living with the corona virus. I hear from my clients the fatigue of not only winter that hits many people at this point in the year, but seems amplified by almost a year of work-from-home, school-from-home, social distancing and many other losses.

All of this speaks to how our mental health becomes more crucial than ever - how do we remain resilient, grateful, find joy and grit, to not just survive, but also enjoy this chapter of life. Whatever life stage this moment finds you in, cultivating the opportunities and growth that is possible is important!

So, “Secret Cupid” felt like the great opportunity to inspire purposeful kindness, fun, thoughtfulness and gratitude. Over dinner we discussed ideas to help inspire action. Each person shared something they would like their Secret Cupid to do for them, as well as ideas that each family member thought others would like. This activity itself proved to be worthwhile, and filled with laughs. It identified the things that we all can do that matter most to each other.

Then the fun began! (Besides the fact that we had to do multiple name draws as our 4 year old kept announcing her not-so-secret “Secret Cupid.”). Then the creativity, sneakiness, and kindness ensued!

Here is a “Secret Valentine” card to help your family on your own “Secret Cupid” activity.

If you’re interested in building on this, The Love Languages series of books may be a good resource. Written by Gary Chapman, the “love languages” allows us to clarify how our loved ones receive affection and appreciation. With books that speak to children and teens “love languages,” it can be a helpful idea to help us make sure we are speaking the language that is most meaningful to others. This might be acts of service, gifts and objects, words or physical touch. An exploration of love languages might be the perfect valentine’s day gift to ourselves and others!

Happy Cupid-ing! (yes, I made that a verb!)